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Sunday, September 19, 2004 - Page updated at 12:00 A.M.
Ask the Expert / Darrell Hay
Today we continue last week's discussion of "creative" (and/or illegal) mole-eradication techniques (along with one blessedly non-rodent question).
Q: I have a cure for moles: Bury fresh dog poop in each new mole hill or tunnel. The bigger the dog and the fresher the poop, the better. Then water it, so it sort of melts and spreads down the tunnel. Moles know a predator when they smell one they'll move to the neighbor's yard. If you don't have a dog well, great! Your yard is where I send my moles.
A: Several people alerted me to the dog-dookie trick. Gotta love those readers! Only one question for you, friend: "Melts and spreads" Do you use water, or chocolate Ex-Lax? On second thought, don't answer that.
Q: After many years of using water and many, many smoke bombs, I purchased two of the metal spikes you stick in the ground that have four D batteries and an off-center noise maker. It runs every 15 seconds for two seconds. It worked for me. I know, because when the batteries run down, they come back. When I replace the batteries, they go away. Since the stakes are about 12 inches into the ground, there is little or no ambient noise unless you are within 15 feet of where you have stuck them.
A: Dude, that is so yesterday. A steaming dog pile has no battery!
Q: My wife took a batch of clothes out of the washer and found a very clean dead mole in the pile. It crawled up from the sewer through the floor-drain grate, which was bumped open, and nested in the laundry pile on the floor. Not replacing your tree-root-invaded sewer line and using your laundry as a trap is an easy, no-fuss method. These days, I think the moles are just garden helpers, roto-tilling my soil for free. No real harm done. Why not just let them be?
A: Oh no a mole-hugger who doesn't maintain the sewer line!
Q: You go on with irrational criticism about using gasoline for mole control. My only comment to you is that people are usually down on things they're not up on. Then you go on to practice law without a license (by saying it could be illegal). Learn more about what you are talking about before you mouth off.
A: Hmm. Definitely not a mole-hugger.
I got my first mole on the first shot with my dad's 22, in the semi-darkness, aiming at a molehill by our house, not imagining there was a critter there. Not a recommended method.
Q: I have looked for many months for a chucked drill. I am not strong enough to tighten the alternative, nor to loosen it if someone else tightens it for me. There must be thousands of women in my position. I implore you to use your influence with manufacturers to convince them this is indeed a viable product.
A: Most light-duty drills have keyless chucks, don't they? I always have considered this a feature. People with disabilities and arthritic hands may also find it difficult to use these new chucks. Sorry to burst your bubble, but no, I don't have any influence over manufacturers, except the good folks that make Ex-Lax. If you can't find a chucked drill off the shelf, scour garage sales, pawn shops and second-hand stores. There are millions of them out there looking for a good home. I have at least two myself.
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