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May 5, 2010 at 7:09 AM

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'Vera, did he just call out B-5?' ... 'No Phil, he said Lee DeWyze!'

Posted by Todd Mossburg

Top 5.jpgB... I... N... G... O... and Bingo was not his name-oh!

To borrow a line from last night's "Chairman of the Board" and our inspiration behind the latest theme show fiasco, it's time to Send In The Clowns to the "American Idol" production meetings. Are they really trying to compete with bingo halls across the country for ratings? I am old, but this is way off the shuffle board, folks.

My grandmother Vera, who loves music, and danced to Frank Sinatra classics at high school dances back in 1939 (let me repeat that, in 1939) sadly wasn't able to text in her votes for her favorite performances on her iPhone because sadly, she and all her euchre card club friends are asleep by 7:30 p.m.

IMG_0246.JPGI say to the execs behind this musical monster of AI, that if you think the cheesy thematic shows are needed, then go back to a two-hour format at this stage and allow the contestants to sing the genre song, and then a second song that they choose on their own. I really don't remember the last time we heard one of these cats sing something recorded after 2000. Do you?

To get in the right frame of mind, this blogger scheduled an emergency trip to get his prostate checked in the afternoon, then hurried home to turn back the clock himself. I pulled out a '1940s Smith Corono Sterling Typewriter, and threw on my best thinking-man's hat for this blog.

Without further ado, allow me to break down these Strangers In The Night.

IMG_0632.JPGAaron "H.S.M. 3: Senior Year" Kelly
"Fly Me To The Moon" 1964

Aaron Kelly has been very consistent week to week. Not a bad rendition for a song that is more than two and a half times his age. He is always better to me if I don't look at him because his youth does distract me. I am also not down with that little wiggle sway thing he does. Solid performance and I really feel for him because you know he was struggling a great deal with this assignment.

IMG_0635.JPGCasey "Take Off Your Clothes' James
"Blue Skies" 1941

It did look like he had lost a bet with his buddies and had to get up on the stage and sing a Sinatra song. This is a prime example at how a theme night can kill an Idol hopeful when it may not be deserved. I wonder if Casey Jameshad taken on "My Way" if he could have been better or what if Harry Connick Jr. didn't do the arrangement. Was there a way to Casey-ize that song? We will never know.

IMG_0640.JPGCrystal "Jewel" Bowersox
"Summer Wind" 1966

I liked the "touch" of Crystal Bowersox hitting the high note on the piano before walking into position. BTW, how far has this girl come in the "makeover" category since the first few times we saw her? This was another fine example that she is an old soul because her voice just melts into these older songs like she was from that era. No "wow" moment but spot on.

A bit of advice because I am a fan of hers: don't try to defend yourself against the judges. Remember it's America voting and you don't want to come across arrogant by chiming in after each judge critiques you because you may lose a few hundred thousand votes.

IMG_0642.JPGMichael "The Big Hurt" Lynche
"The Way You Look Tonight" 1964

I loved The Big Hurt tonight because he was gangsta in that hat. Besides looking the part, this was a great song choice for Michael Lynche. Each time I played it back, he got better and better to me. I went back and changed his scores each time as well. A little bit of a "wow" moment at the end of the song. I think that's as good as it will get from him. You're not gonna get a "chills" moment from this guy.

IMG_0633.JPGLee "Counting Hootie & Blowfish Crows" DeWyze
"That's Life" 1966

Time to echo what many of my fellow bloggers have been saying: Lee DeWyze is the "sexy" pick now to take this thing. The wizardry of HC Jr. has given the lion courage this week and now to quote Frankie, Lee can Have The World On A String.

While I thought Bowersox had the best chance at succeeding on this night with a sexy swing feel, Lee exceeded her by a long shot. He delivered his patented voice with some Connick flair. It was the only memorable moment from the night and the only performance you need to see if you missed the show. (Vanessa)

The Mossy Index

Note that since I had a hard time using my normal "song choice" category with it being Sinatra night, I changed that line to "Can I Polka dance to it?"

1 - 10 Scale Aaron Kelly Casey James Crystal Bowersox Michael Lynche Lee DeWyze
Can I polka
dance to it
7 6 8 9 9
Execution 7 5 8 9 10
Appearance / Presence 6 7 8 9 9
Voice 7 5 8 8 9
"IT" Factor 6 7 8 6 10
Overall Score /
+ or - from last week

Updating the season totals from The Mossy Index after 10 weeks of LIVE performances.

1 Crystal 480
2 Lee 430 (up from 4)
3 Michael 426
4 Casey 425 (down from 2)

5 Siobhan378 (one less performance)
6 Aaron 353

I'll do it my way! (1969)

And now, the end is near,
And so I face the final curtain.
My friends, I'll say it clear;
I'll state my case of which I'm certain...

Mike Top 5.jpgOnce I dissected The Mossy Index numbers from the 10 performance weeks, then added in my gut feeling, I've come up with my pick for who's hitting the high road tonight. The scorecard says "the boy" should go home. I borrowed this line from my Idol-addicted barista, Rachel. She also added this great line while I was picking up my grande non-fat sugar free 3-4-2 peanut butter/white chocolate iced latte ... "Aaron is not your American Idol, he's just a boy you'd want to give birth to."

I find myself torn between Aaron, Casey and Mike. I think AK still gets the teeny bopper votes, and CJ still has women all over the country forcing their hubbies to grow out their locks and perm it up, while buying them a Roy Clark color dotted Big Note Songbook for Guitar book. So that means unfortunately Big Mike aka The Big Hurt did it his way but will be spending his hours preparing for the Idol Tour. He won't deserve to go off last night's showing but I just think the Casey-craze will beat out Mike by a few thousand votes.

Come Rain or Come Shine (1961)

IMG_6308.jpgWhile the forecast for Henderson, Nevada calls for 82-degrees and lots of sunshine this weekend, mom is preparing her spaghetti dinner (and lots of it) for Michael Lynche as well. She believes it will be a close call between him and Casey James.

Mom thought Crystal Bowersox outdid Lee DeWyze last night, calling Crystal's performance "sexy." This also means she still stands by MamaSox as your American Idol.

She also wanted it to be known by the AI producers that she would have preferred Dean Martin night over Sinatra.

Count Von Count "AH AH AH AH AH!"

• "Simon drinks from his Coke cup" cha-ching counter = 5.75
(.5 Judge intros, 2 after AK, 1 after CJ, 1 Ryan sips, .25 after CB, 1 after ML)

• "Pitchy" counter = 2

• "I love you/Loved it/I Love" counter = 3

• "Listen" counter = 1 (shocker!)

• "Dawg/Dude/Man/Yo" counter = 19

• "Honey" counter = 1

• "Boo/Hiss" scoreboard:

Randy "Dawg" Jackson = 1 (CJ)
Ellen DeGeneres = 0
Kara DioGuardi = 2 (AK, CJ)
Simon Cowell = 1 (CJ)

• "Utter rubbish" counter = 0

• "Simon flipping us off" counter = 1.5 (.5 after AK, 1 after ML)

In Closing:

IMG_0643.JPG• I adore Simon's new woobie. He was making me uncomfortable as he was squeezing it throughout the show. I wish TMZ could put some surveillance cameras in his bedroom so we can confirm he will be sleeping with the Sinatra embroidered handkerchief at night.

• I want to play in Harry Connick Jr's band. They all looked like they were reading their sheet music off of iPads!

52bd84_Siobhan_03242010.jpg• I hate to admit this, but I really missed Siobhan Magnus this week. I'm not talking about her voice, I missed her boots. Plus it felt like there was a rain cloud over me all day which could mean there was some magical mystical magnetic connection between me and that Mary Poppins tatt on her shoulder.

• "American Idol" Fan Shop on QVC? I saw this posted for the first time on Kimberly Caldwell's (Season 2) Facebook page as she pimped the show she will be dropping in on Thursday night. (btw, her new CD is pretty darn good, give it a sample) So this QVC thing had me wondering what kind of memorabilia can be had on this show. Are we talking things like Ruben Studdard's used sweat towels? Plastic Coca-Cola cups "as seen on stage"? Half used Adam Lambert eye liner? Sanjaya Malakar hair picks? Show-worn pit-stained Simon Cowell white v-neck tees? I may have to tune in and see for myself.

Glee.jpg• A little factoid to share regarding my lovely grandma. She married an organ-playing musician who toured the Midwest playing Sinatra swing night after night. The band's name was "Music By Mason." Oh and that high school I mentioned she used to swing dance at is McKinley High School in Canton, Ohio. Ring a bell? This is the setting behind FOX's hit "Glee." Feel free to flash an "L" sign on your forehead.

• Special thanks to the folks at GetApp who have the coolest new app out there right now, one that the Mossy family played with on its spring break road trip. If you liked the old school photos you saw in this blog, then put your friends and family into the OldBooth.

Mossy Bonus Tracks

I think we should never see another Frank Sinatra theme night on AI unless the contestants are forced to sing a non-Sinatra song recorded after the year 1990 and they must do it by imitating Ol' Blue Eyes.

Kind of like these classic spots back in the '90s on MTV.

Until next time, don't be afraid to let your boogie out. Later days.

Sinatra does Pearl Jam:

Sinatra does Snoop Dog:

Sinatra does Cyprus Hill:

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