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Originally published April 10, 2010 at 4:19 PM | Page modified April 10, 2010 at 6:25 PM

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Larry Stone's MLB power rankings

Larry Stone's power rankings

Last year's final regular-season ranking in parentheses

1 Phillies (3) Halladay, Hamels and Happ: Nothing funny about the ha ha ha rotation
2 Yankees (1) Hey, Joe West: Yankees DO play two-hour games. They're called the first four innings
3 Red Sox (4) Beltre's new Red Sox video: "Four infielders, three cups"
4 Rays (15) Techno-hip manager Joe Maddon reads scouting reports on an iPad
5 Cardinals (7) New hitting coach Mark McGwire working wonders with this Pujols kid
6 Twins (11) Nathan: "I regret that I have but one elbow ligament to lose for my ballclub!"
7 Giants (13) Weight-conscious Sandoval hopes to transition himself to Kung Fu Gazelle
8 Rockies (6) Only 2 opening-day first basemen in franchise history: Galarraga and Helton
9 Angels (2) Wait until the crowd catches a whiff of that crazy Bobby Cassevah jive
10 Braves (12) Braves fans already misty-eyed envisioning the final 10 ejections of Cox's career
11 A's (22) Brad Pitt playing Billy Beane in "Moneyball" movie; Angelina Jolie plays Art Howe
12 Tigers (10) Player least likely to be traded to Rangers, because wisecracks too easy: Phil Coke
13 White Sox (17) Donny Lucy makes team as backup catcher. Explains Guillen: "I love Lucy"
14 Brewers (18) Where's Valerio de los Santos when you really need him?
15 Rangers (8) Saltalamacchia goes on DL with upper back stiffness; weight of letters blamed
16 Diamondbacks (24) Clash of Titans: Release the Kraken! 03 D'backs: Unconditionally release McCracken!
17 Mariners (14) Rejected promotions: Cliff Lee Platelet-Rich-Plasma-injected Bobblehead Night
18 Cubs (16) New owners vow to increase the team's waning championship-flag budget
19 Marlins (9) Marlins owners lobbying for a new "revenue-hording" plan
20 Dodgers (5) Players trying to divorce themselves from ownership controversy
21 Reds (20) Reds hire Masters committee to make scoring tougher at Great American Ball Park
22 Blue Jays (19) Vernon Wells finally playing like someone worthy of $126 million contract
23 Indians (26) Sadly, no Cy Young winners left to trade
24 Padres (21) Padres future: Venable, Blanks and whomever they get for Gonzalez
25 Pirates (28) Pirates hitters ask Bob Huggins to cradle them when they foul a ball off their foot
26 Mets (25) Guilt-ridden Mets think Tiger's dad is talking to them
27 Royals (27) Spoiler alert: Their .500 record after four games won't hold
28 Orioles (29) Mike Gonzalez (0-2, 18.00) showing there's a fine line between closer and loser
29 Astros (23) Astros clearly gunning to get first pick in next December's Rule 5 draft
30 Nationals (30) Nationals enduring April, a k a "The calamity before the Strasburg"

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