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Originally published Saturday, August 20, 2011 at 10:01 PM

The Wrap / Ron Judd

A mayor with a special touch — can you dig it?

The Wrap by Ron Judd

Seattle Times staff columnist

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Sometime, down the road, it's going to happen.

You'll be heading south, from North Seattle bound for West Seattle, when your plug-in electric car dips into the shadows and a grandkid from the back seat suddenly pipes up:

"Grandpa, why did they name this the Michael Patrick McGinn Memorial Deep Bore Tunnel?"

"Long story, kiddo. Long story."

More visionary leadership:

Amazing Anti-Midas Touch: Just by meekly opposing it, Hizzoner turned an unpopular idea into consensus here in the City of Indefatigable Process. Perhaps he can now use his power for the forces of good by coming out against quality public education and clean air and water.

We Kid The Mayor: And would continue to, but the truth is, it's not polite to make fun of dead people.

Fighting Fire With Air: Even we will admit that Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz deserves props for highlighting the corruptive influence of money in U.S. politics. But given that it amounts to unilateral disarmament from the campaign-donation wars, it's ultimately just rhetoric. We'd be a lot more impressed if Mr. Coffee urged fellow CEOs and citizens to donate one last time, like never before — to a slate of third-party People's Agenda candidates whose sole mission is to enact meaningful campaign-finance reform, curbs on lobbying, and Wall Street regulation.

Sell! Sell! Sell!: The stock market remained stuck in roller-coaster mode, plunging at one point on the excuse of a bad manufacturing report. Surprised investors did not take note of America leading the way in at least one sector: Manufactured political crises.

Speaking of Sell!: In a move that puzzled analysts but pleased shareholders, HP, the world's largest personal computer manufacturer, announced that it will stop making PCs and other gadgets, lay off all non-loading-dock employees, and spend the next 50 years sitting back and raking in billions from sales of overpriced printer-ink cartridges.

Blue Skies, Smiling at Thee: Local weather guru Cliff Mass is back on the radio, agreeing to a gig on NPR affiliate KPLU after being dumped by KUOW. Thank God. We've missed his keen insight into complicated meteorological topics such as math education and the wayward administration of the University of Washington.

Suma Cum Larceny: Convicted thieving punk Colton Harris-Moore wants to go to college. He's applying for the little-known University of Phoenix 33-Strikes-And-You're-Out Hard Luck Scholarship.

Speaking Of Which: Apparently there's a final snag in negotiations for a Barefoot Bandit feature film: The director, a stickler for detail, wants the role of celebrity attorney / faithful Wrap reader John Henry Browne to be played by washed-up "L.A. Law" actor Corbin Bernsen. Browne keeps insisting on Brad Pitt.

And Finally: Hate to pick on the Seattle Storm, normally the best summer show in town. But laying that 29-point loss egg at home, on Sue Bird Bobblehead Night, was pretty ugly. Even worse, many fans later discovered that the head on their Bird bobblehead wouldn't even bobble, because its ponytail gets stuck up against the plastic Space Needle in the backdrop behind it. Remember that night the Sounders gave everybody their money back?

Ron Judd's column appears each Sunday. He also writes Restless Native columns. Reach him at rjudd@seattletimes.com

or 206-464-8280.

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About The Wrap / Ron Judd

"The Wrap" appears on Sundays, highlighting the absurd and providing the punch line to the week's news headlines.

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