Episode recap: In the week’s Amateur Hour, City Hall Edition, Mayor Pro-Tem Mike McGinn (motto: “D’oh!”) learns that all those busted-up rifles and handguns turned in at a recent gun buyback already have been melted into rebar.
This means, tragically, that they can’t be turned into “Peace Bricks” bearing inspiring anti-violence messages from Seattle’s children.
No biggie: Hizzoner, breaking into his traditional post-stumble tap dance, simply announced that metal from future gun buybacks will be used, instead. It’s good to have a civic leader who always stays a step-and-a-half ahead of himself.
We have to admit, however, that in this case, McGinn is onto something. This recycling program writ large might have other, truly practical uses, and the site of the mayor’s news conference about the big meltdown prompts one idea.
How about melting down all those insufferable glass orbs at the Seattle Center Chihuly Museum of Self-Aggrandizement/Outlet Mall into something truly useful — like portable vessels for transporting refreshing carbonated beverages?
More forward thrusting:
Rejected Earlier Ideas for “Peace Bricks” From Melted-Down Seattle Guns: PC Pellets. Process Pucks. Cliché coins. Meaningless Mayor McGinngots.
Speaking of Which: What are the odds some of those future “Peace Bricks” won’t wind up in the hands of Seattle’s burgeoning mob of no-account losers, some of whom will chuck them through the window of a downtown store next May Day?
Make No Mistake: Mr. Wrap applauds the lofty goals of initiatives such as the mayor’s “Weapons to Words” meltdown program. It just feels like this bunch should start with something a bit more basic. Perhaps “Coherent Thoughts to Words.”
We Kid the Mayor: But he makes a good point about the city’s need to heal from its recent violent past. Perhaps wood from the stocks of all future buyback guns can be used to hand carve small totem poles for placement on certain downtown street corners.
An Even Smaller-Minded Bigger Dance: It’s stunning to see this sophomoric, sexist-tripe denigration of high-school girls in a “May Madness” online hotness contest conducted by Eastside high-school students. Who do these boneheads think they are? Professional Seattle sports-talk radio hosts?
Tectonic Public Service Announcement: Researchers are claiming to have found traces of a long-lost continent beneath the Atlantic Ocean near Brazil. If you’ve misplaced one, please contact the Lost and Found Department at the National Geographic Society.
It Made Bob Costas Feel 5 Feet Tall: NBC won multiple awards at the Sports Emmys in New York, including one for its coverage of the opening ceremony of the 2012 London Olympics. Very exciting news for anxious U.S. West Coast viewers, who will see it for the first time a week from Sunday.
And Finally: Each of us grateful taxpayers should pause this morning to down a rasher of bacon or two in honor of retired U.S. Rep. Norm Dicks, D-Loud, who, in an understandable move to pad out his measly $107,000 annual congressional pension, has signed on with a D.C. lobby group that represents oil and gas companies, electric utilities and mining and railroad businesses. Anyone surprised that Norm’s expressed desire to “change gears” meant shifting straight into pork overdrive?
Ron Judd’s column appears each Sunday. Reach him at email@example.com 206-464-8280.
About The Wrap / Ron Judd
"The Wrap" appears on Sundays, highlighting the absurd and providing the punch line to the week's news headlines.