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Originally published Sunday, January 26, 2014 at 5:30 AM

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Just in case you weren’t already bowled over

The Wrap by Ron Judd

Seattle Times staff columnist

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Sometimes, you have to give in and go with the flow.

That became glaringly apparent early last week, when the most important sociological question in this great land unexpectedly became: Are we or are we not living in a true post-Richard Sherman society?

In celebration of that, uh, achievement — and in keeping with the new national ethic of worth defined by cheap webpage hits — we hereby offer up The Wrap, Special Unabashed Super Bowl Hype Edition:

Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Just to Be Clear: None of the above was meant to disrespect those postgame antics of Sherman. The guy was understandably furious, having just made a spectacular play to win the biggest game of his life.

Seriously, All You Haters: Who among us hasn’t had the urge to flash a choke sign at the meter maid when he/she arrived just as we drove off without a ticket? Buck up and let your inner lion scratch his nuggets once in a while.

In Any Case: That game is all slightly elevated levels of water under the bridge. Time to focus on the next victim, the Denver Broncos.

First Thought: This Won’t Be Easy: Not only are the Hawks facing the most productive offense in the league, they’re up against an old AFC rival with a storied history of Super Bowl quarterbacks with unusually large, cylindrical heads.

Stacked Odds: We are happy to see that the state’s two governors have arranged the traditional pre-Super Bowl bet that highlights their state’s most notable products. If the Broncos win, Gov. John Hickenlooper gets a box of smoked salmon, a case of fine Washington wine, a sack of gourmet coffee beans and a used 757. If the Seahawks win, Gov. Jay Inslee gets a chunk of ice and a clump of windswept brown earth and dead grass.

A Bit of History: Denver is named after former Kansas Territorial Gov. James W. Denver, whose most notable historical achievement was being no relation to John.

Claims to Fame: Denver’s proud civic accomplishments include years of nuclear contamination from a DOE weapons plant, chickening out on the 1976 Winter Olympics, and being one of only a handful of American cities dumb enough to host the Democratic National Convention twice.

Also Notable: Several U.S. Navy ships have been named USS Denver, mostly out of pity. Samsonite Luggage was born in Denver in 1910 and operated there for a century, until new owners realized where they were and promptly moved the company to Massachusetts.

Apples to Apples: Denver’s Gates Corporation is the world’s largest producer of automotive belts and hoses. Seattle’s Gates Foundation is the world’s largest curer of global hunger and disease.

We Kid Denver: But the town can rightfully boast of its own ongoing gifts to humanity — it’s the birthplace of The Shane Company, direct diamond importer, as well as Scott’s Liquid Gold furniture polish. (You laugh now; one day you will wake up to dull cabinet fronts.)

And Finally: We interrupt all this frivolity to pass along the week’s political stunner: The announcement that John Boehner, R-Sudden Tan, won’t run for president has got to be devastating news to his four likely voters. Struggle on, America.

Ron Judd’s column appears each Sunday. Reach him at or 206-464-8280.

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About The Wrap / Ron Judd

"The Wrap" appears on Sundays, highlighting the absurd and providing the punch line to the week's news headlines.


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