Nobody ever said tie-dye and genius went together
The Wrap by Ron Judd
Seattle Times staff columnist
Perhaps it is the heat. Another week, another Mensa candidate. The week’s Fickle Finger of Fate Award winner: Mr. Mike Boyer of Spokane, pot-smoker extraordinaire.
Highlights of Boyer’s famous 15 minutes: Tie-dye T-shirt, check. First in line to buy legal pot at a Spoklahoma bud store, check. Triumphant holding of bag over head for TV news cameras, check. Letting TV cameras follow him home, watch him light up and take a toke of historic proportions, check, check, check.
Who’da thunk that his temp-agency employers might, to borrow a corporate HR term, “express concern?”
Turns out news of Boyer’s firing was premature: His employer now says he either wasn’t fired, or has been unfired, for his baldly public display of buck-bakedness.
No matter. We raise a glass to the man’s truly remarkable consequence-indifference and extend an offer: If things don’t work out with that job, there’s always room for a guy with these sorts of deep-thinking skills in the big offices over here at Seattle’s little electric utility.
More budding intellect:
Speaking of D’oh! Such a struggle it is, here in the Age of Stuff, keeping track of where we put things. For some of us, it’s the pink Dick Nite fishing spoons, size 0, out in the garage. For others, it’s vials of deadly smallpox stashed away in a storage room at a government laboratory in Maryland.
New TSA rule:Phone must power up before you can take on plane. Sadly, 94 percent of iPhone users are now on a de facto permanent no-fly list.
In Lieu of an “Off” Button: Just one question for Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella, who told reporters that the nerds in Redmond will strive to “reinvent productivity to empower every person and every organization on the planet to do more and achieve more.” How exactly does that help the growing numbers of us who honestly yearn to do less?
Attention, Missoula Anglers: Due to an unforeseen migration, the bag limit on 737s in the Clark Fork River has been expanded from one to three. Single, barbless forklifts only. No snagging!
Gun Nuttery, Part Deux: Mr. Wrap was devastated to learn that he did not win the big gun giveaway organized by congressional candidate Clint Didier, R-Washington D.C. Football Team Whose Hideous, Offensive, Racist Name Shall Not Be Spoken In Polite Company. He was sooo looking forward to bolstering his American maleness by proudly packin’ that pink Ruger around in coffee shops, churches and toy stores.
DIY, FerPete’s Sake: It’s hot and we’re tired, so you’ll just have to come up with your own punchline for this item about American writer Bill Hillman, co-author of the book “Fiesta: How to Survive the Bulls of Pamplona,” who was ... DUN duh da DUN … gored by a bull in Pamplona.
And Finally: Some people turn to religion, some to music, some to drugs, others to old movies. Whatever your stress, we here in the Wrap Department find readily relief in July by turning to the time-honored, strangely hypnotic cure of watching brown bears fish for salmon, in real time, up in Katmai National Park (a quick Google of “Katmai bears webcam” does the trick). Y’all breathe deep, enjoy, and stay hydrated.
Ron Judd’s column appears each Sunday. Reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org or 206-464-8280. Twitter: @RoncJudd