Will commissioner Goodell really be frozen in time?
The Seattle Times
Is there a Popsicle endorsement in Roger Goodell’s future?
“Goodell — who, after all, is just a regular guy like the rest of us — will attend the (Super Bowl) game and sit outside,” noted syndicated columnist Norman Chad. “His frozen body then will be airlifted to midtown Manhattan, where it will be erected as a statue honoring the commissioner at the entrance of NFL headquarters.”
• At TheOnion.com: “Seahawks, Broncos worried Super Bowl won’t live up to amazing 2014 Pro Bowl.”
• On the readerboard at Rose Hill Presbyterian Church in Kirkland: “God has no favorites / but the sign guy does / go Hawks”
Just say neigh
Pop star Justin Bieber got his overnight six-pack abs from using the steroid Clenbuterol, a diet drug most commonly used on horses, The Sun of London reported.
So his short-term prospects range from getting deported to winning the Kentucky Derby.
Drago beats cancer
The top five sports-movie villains of all time, in the estimation of SI.com’s Dan Treadway:
1) Ivan Drago, “Rocky IV” (1985)
2) Cancer, “Brian’s Song” (1971)
3) Shooter McGavin, “Happy Gilmore” (1996)
4) Ernie “Big Ern” McCracken, “Kingpin” (1996)
5) Judge Elihu Smails, “Caddyshack” (1980)
“There are two types of people in this world,” Treadway wrote. “Those who cry when they watch ‘Brian’s Song,’ and those who haven’t seen ‘Brian’s Song.’ ”
Political Spin Dept.
Clay Pell, the husband of ex-Olympic figure skater Michelle Kwan, announced he’ll run for governor of Rhode Island.
In other words, he’s throwing his hat in the rink.
Cheap Suit Dept.
The Raiderettes, the Oakland Raiders’ cheerleading squad, are suing the team for underpaying them and other unfair employment practices.
Or as Greg Frazier of the Palo Alto (Calif.) Daily News took to Facebook to put it: “2, 4, 6, 8, we’re prepared to litigate!”
Hey, bettor, bettor
Just in case you’ve been dying to know, the over-under for the number of times Peyton Manning says “Omaha” in the Super Bowl is 27½.
Talking the talk
• Mike Vaccaro of the New York Post, after the Broncos beat New England in the AFC Championship Game: “Whoever introduced Archie and Olivia Manning has now officially cost the Patriots four championships.”
• Minnesota wrestling coach J Robinson, to the St. Paul Pioneer Press, on heeding so-called experts: “Amateurs built the (Noah’s) ark. Professionals built the Titanic.”
• Comedy writer Alan Ray, on the Alex Rodriguez signature wristwatch: “It has two faces.”
• Times reader Bill Littlejohn, on the Seahawks fans who named their newborn daughter Cydnee Leigh 12th Mann: “When the doctor slapped her, she set a hospital decibel record.”
Talking the walk
Broncos safety Mike Adams is vowing to walk home from the game in uniform if his team wins Super Bowl XLVIII.
We’d be a lot more impressed if Adams hailed from, say, San Diego — and not nearby Paterson, N.J.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org
About Sideline Chatter | Dwight Perry
Times night-desk editor Dwight Perry uses Sideline Chatter as a not-so-safe haven for the humorous, offbeat and bizarre events and characters that color the sports landscape. His Page 2 column runs Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Sports.
email@example.com | 206-464-8250