Comments from readers

Any story strictly about race and the implications about mixed-race politics is taboo, which you knew before printing this article.

However, the inclusion of the word "nigger" (in the story) and such generalizations like "whites are . . . gun nuts" and ". . . blacks smoke crack" merely serves to trigger a reaction from readers of either race. This cheapens what may be an important issue and made me lose sight of whatever the writer intended to teach. This was something from an insecure young woman's diary/journal and had no business being in the pages of a major metropolitan newspaper.

I read the entire piece only because I was trying to decide if there was anything positive to say about this when I wrote to tell you how horrified I was that you would print this. Maybe The Washington Post prints this garbage because race is a big issue in D.C., but it was not appropriate for The Seattle Times.

In the future, please consider who reads The Times, and leave this to the P-I. Don't they get all their stories from the wire services anyway?

- Scott Nielsen, Federal Way

I am an 80-year-old white male who for perhaps the first time really understood the thoughts and feelings of a light-skinned black woman.

Looking forward to additional conversations.

- Claude M. Hutchins, Seattle

I am very much at home in this part of the world, especially Kitsap County, because there are so many other people like me, who are of mixed origins.

I worry about the unintended consequences of mainly Democratic politicians who play the race card for the purpose of short-term hegemony, building coalitions based on race. Governmental classification fosters the habit of encouraging us to hunker down in isolated groups based on race until we turn ourselves into a Balkans. We don't have to look any further than Yugoslavia to understand the perils of accentuating the negatives among peoples. In Nazi Germany, the first step toward "solving the Jewish problem" was to identify the Jews.

There is another way. Recognize a unique race whose home is the United States. We're called Americans and come in all colors. Let's make it official. Join me by taking that little extra effort to write in at the bottom of the form, "American."

- Matt Ryan, Bremerton

The story has forced me to think of how my daughter will define herself in the years to come. I don't think it is any longer just a black issue or a white issue. It affects us all in some way. I think of the parents of biracial children and what prejudices we have, have had and continue to have to overcome from society, the media and, at times, our own racial background.

At times I find myself in thought while my daughter and I are shopping. I find myself observing the older kids. I wonder: Will my daughter define herself as Filipino, or black, or both? Will she associate herself with one side or the other? Maybe she will interact with all races.

I wonder and worry about her future.

- Lourdes Bucsit, Seattle

I want to thank Lonnae O'Neal Parker for taking the time to spill her guts on the Race Place. It is nothing short of a wake-up call to those of us who were born into white privilege.

I, personally, have felt many things regarding racism. Anger, rage, shame, helplessness, smallness, shock . . . you get the idea. But mostly safe, white safe. Except maybe when I see a black man on the corner and I quickly lock my car door. My heart has gone out time and again when I see inequality in this world. Sometimes I feel so ashamed for being white, I wish I could make it all better. I want to apologize for every last thing that has happened or will happen that is racist. Even into the most subtle cruel corners of this world. I want to heal the world of this ugly inhumane wrong. And this in hopes that it will heal me from the inside out. Thank you, Lonnae, for being so bold and articulate. Thank you for not letting us slide back into nonchalance. Thank you for reminding us there is still a pink elephant in our living rooms. My only hope is that someday I can be considered your sister in spirit, if not in color.

- Sandra Judd, Seattle

I'm writing this from Dallas, Texas. I'm a 30-year-old African-American female, working for a computer company in the Dallas-Fort Worth area.

Having grown up in Texas, I come from a slightly different perspective; I consider myself American first and African American second. My skin tone is caramel brown.

I know I'm a little out of the norm for an African-American female. Most strongly identify themselves as African-American. Others, including a few members, think that I think I'm white. I know I'm not. I come from a very mixed background. I had a great-grandfather whom I got to know fairly well through adulthood. He was 1/2 white, 1/4 Cherokee and 1/4 black. Father was white, but at the time he was born, his mother and father were legally not allowed to marry. However, they had three children together. My great-grandfather looked like a white man with a slight tan - his eyes were light blue-gray, his features were mostly Anglo, with high cheekbones. The only things that really gave him away were his accent (country, African-American) and his hair - tightly kinked, though it was auburn red when he was younger. Until I was 14, I thought he was white. I have both Native American and Anglo-American ancestry, and have a problem with calling myself any of the three because they are all part of me. I'm a little different from my family; they consider themselves African American. I don't have a problem with that perception; that's how they see themselves. But I consciously made the decision to not deny any part of my ancestry, so in my mind I am merely an American - a mix of the best and the worst of all my ancestors. That statement is a reflection of the pride I have in and for myself, all my ancestors, and my place in the world.

Unfortunately, over the years others tried to pigeonhole me into their views. I've had the "N-word" tossed at me by whites in the honors classes I took in school; I've been called an Oreo (white on the inside, black on the outside) because I wanted an education more than I wanted to drop out of school, get stoned/drunk or get pregnant before age 18, and because I generally had the maturity to work hard to get what I wanted rather than assume that anyone would give me anything in life. Despite all the naysayers and negative feedback, I've mostly ignored my critics, because I've figured out that ultimately my success depends on me - not on what everyone else thinks.

Through patience and persistence, I eventually get what I want, and even occasionally on my own terms.

Having said that particular mouthful, don't get the idea I'm conservative (I' m not) or liberal (I'm not that, either). I'm just not very conventional in most ways. I just consider myself somewhat practical-minded.

I believe that race in this country - or any other - should be determined by each individual. I feel free to consider myself merely American, as Tiger Woods considers himself Cablasian, as the writer considers herself black and as the writer's cousin considers herself white. As long as you know who you are and where you came from, and are at home with that and the good and bad of it, that's all that really matters. We're all correct, because each individual ultimately defines who he/she is in his/her own identity. There are as many of those identities as there are individuals on the planet.

- Tracey Claybon, Dallas

Define "obsession" and "hypocrite." I'm white, but some of my family, I'm told, was American Indian, and some, way back, were from India. But in the course of my life I've had my life threatened by black, brown, yellow and Jewish people. I think we must get off this chip-on-the-shoulder mentality and start living together and making the most of our time on this earth.

- Name withheld

This article was a stunner for me. It allows this white, male, middle-class American the insight to glimpse the yawning gap between my free-and-easy journey through life and the experiences of people of color.

What for me is so natural, that I "belong" here in every sense of the word, is seen by others as a constant challenge/threat, and I was too unaware to grasp that.

Lonnae O'Neal Parker deserves great praise for being so frank and revealing; it opened my eyes enough to start to see.

- Ed Waldock, Seattle

I deeply appreciated reading the article "White Girl." As an African-American man, I found many aspects of the lives of the cousins uplifting, and several parts troubling. I'm glad you ran the story.

Now, concerning your question about keeping the conversation going, I'm not sure if your interest has to do with biracial people or race matters in general. Either way, I'd be interested in reading more articles concerning race, particularly those that reveal how people are dismantling personal and systemic racism.

For your information, I am regional minister and president (kind of like a bishop!) of the Northwest Region of the Protestant Christian denomination known as the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) U.S. and Canada.

The Northwest Region is composed of 11,000 members and 77 congregations in Washington, northern Idaho and Alaska. Not one of our congregations has a majority of people of color. Our main regional office is in West Seattle, and a satellite office and staff in Spokane. I am the first African American to serve as regional minister of the Northwest Region, and only the second African American to ever serve as regional minister in the entire 167 year history of our denomination.

We have several congregations in the Seattle area, including University Christian Church near the University of Washington. Our denomination is in the second year of a church-wide discernment process on racism, seeking the guidance of our faith to recognize personal and systemic racism and dismantle it within our own church structures and institutions. The Northwest Region is building a team of people who will be trained by the Crossroads organization, a Christian faith-based group dedicated to training people to recognize and dismantle racism. Our team will be trained in May and will then help our entire region dismantle racism.

I look forward to the continued conversation.

- Jack Sullivan Jr., regional minister and president,Northwest Regional Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), Seattle

I am biracial myself, and it's just so refreshing to read about other people who deal with the same issues I have dealt with. Her article touched on a lot of the things that up to this point I've not actually read about but have only experienced in life. It's just refreshing to know there are other people out in the world like myself.

- Monica Penn, Seattle

I've been a "consumer advocate" in the mental health industry for almost a decade now, and I've figured out some things about dealing with one's issues: Once begun, it's a long painful journey to "healing."

I "don't know" black. Even looking at my big nose, nappy hair and undeniably brown skin. I grew up in Brier, the oldest black male child in town (there were five of us: my brother, and three brothers in the other black family in town), and the only black male in the town's first junior high school (the first graduating class, actually).

I didn't know it at the time, but I was taught "being black" by that school: I never did play basketball, but that's all they seemed to consider me good for. School peer pressure, coach pressure, even kids from other schools in the district. I was taller than everybody at the school . . . almost. I didn't play. I didn't want to play. I didn't want to learn how to play. I turned out anyway and got cut - and was branded "the black kid who can't play basketball."

Never mind that I always finished every test in half the time it took everyone else. Never mind that I never had "extra credit"; I always accepted the assigned extra credit as part of the assigned homework. Never mind that I was always at least two chapters ahead of the class. Never mind that I was always told to not get so far ahead. Never mind that I always took every test two or three times, just to kill time.

I was - first, foremost and only - "the black kid who can't play basketball."

- Wayne Smith, Bellingham

It's so funny sometimes. You look at an article in the newspaper and sort of mentally shrug. And in the back of your mind you can hear your mind say, "Yeah, like I need to read this article. It's just another thing on race. I don't need to see this."

But then you do read it, perhaps even because you don't want to read it, and it makes you think.

This article is on race, and prejudice, and struggle, and you don't want to have to think about that . . . because thinking about it shakes you out of your comfortable life where you can just ignore those problems, hoping they'll go away on their own. The child's excuse: "If I can't see it, it can't see me."

But it can, because if you ignore the problem, it will only get worse.

These articles, which come along so rarely, are good. They shake us out of our complacency, out of our contentment with the order of things, and they show us that something is wrong. Something is wrong, so we need to work to right that wrong.

So to all of those who write articles such as "White Girl?," to those who come to schools to give presentations about what the civil rights struggle was like, and to all of those who acknowledge the wrong, thank you. For without you, the wrong would win over what is right. Injustice and inequality would triumph. But because you're working on the problem and fighting it, and making the rest of us come out and face the problem, they can't win.

To freedom, to justice, to equality is where we are slowly heading - and we just might get there.

- Molly Blair, Seattle

I am 15/16ths Chinese and 1/16th Hawaiian. I grew up in Indiana, in a little town outside Indianapolis. There were three nonwhite children who attended the public school system during the time I was there, 18 years ago: myself and my two brothers. Oh, yes, I understand racism.

It is, as the article described, a difficult journey to enter into a frank discussion about race and racism in particular.

- Damien Yee, Seattle

I'm white and hungry to know where and how racism crawls around my brain, infecting me and other people in ways I can't see. I appreciate both the writer and her cousin for their courage. It's well-written, and a relief to read.

- Kay Diamond, Seattle

The idea that the common goal of all Americans should be to be melted down from our diverse racial and cultural (heritage) into some homogeneous (read: white, Protestant, heterosexual) gruel is still quite prevalent.

We pass laws requiring that English be the only language used in the conduct of public policy. We pass other laws that seem to say racism is a thing of the past, and further attempts to deal with its legacy are no longer necessary.

What we, as white folks and policymakers, fail to realize is that just because racism isn't something we face every day doesn't mean that it is gone. What we blind ourselves to is the fact that we are handed a great many advantages, are given enormous opportunity and hope, simply because we are white. We blind ourselves to the fact we do not offer these same opportunities to people of color. We are constantly griping that the disadvantaged should simply work harder, and yet we fail to recognize that so many of the things we take for granted are not granted to some, no matter how hard they work for them, based simply on assumptions we make about them because of the color of their skin, their accent or something else that strikes us as foreign and frightening.

Do we need to talk about this? I'd say so.

- Brian Anderson

Dear Scene:

Ironically, without noticing your invitation to respond, I stopped midway into the article and began a letter to Lonnae. I never do that!

When I finished the article and letter, I turned back to the beginning to see if I could find an address. Lo and behold, there was your invitation to respond. I guess you were right, this story has the power to move us.

Dear Lonnae:

When I saw your pictures gracing the page in Scene, I was intrigued. Who were these two lovely women?

There was some hint of family about you two. It made me think of my son. His father and I with deep chocolate eyes, my son with sky blue. His tiny zygote somewhere along the developmental path doing the generational gene shuffle to paint his eyes with ancestor blue.

I never thought of race. It was you and Cousin Kim who captured my attention.

It saddened me to think how race changes things. I wondered how you would look at me, what you would see. Would you view me as another woman sharing our beautiful womanhood and motherhood? Would you view me instead as separate from you because your "gift," your "sight," would find no black in me?

How sad we live in a world where people hate because of skin color or religion or judge you based on the amount of money you have. I am so sorry you must fear for your children's safety. I am sad that you may not look at me without seeing my whiteness or the sins of my race.

I wish I could get to know you. Maybe we could learn to speak to each other from the heart and not from our heritage. You and I and the world would be a better place.

- Elaine Grace, Everett

Lonnae O'Neal Parker's article moved me. I appreciate how openly she expressed her feelings and how courageous she was to do so. She spoke about truths that often evade many of us living in America. Especially if one is white.

I have emerged from heavy denial over the past 25 years. Some who consider themselves enlightened regarding race issues may not have needed so long to get to where I am.

For me, it has come through 22 years of living with my partner, who is black. My children are biracial, and it is also through them that I have come to see the world differently.

I see the way our society deals with race from a personal level. My consciousness has been raised as to the biases and assumptions I took for granted.

I feel confident my kids will continue presenting challenges to society's hidden biases by virtue of who they are and from where they've come, building bridges where none used to exist.

- Janis Blauer-Chima, Seattle

I felt the author appears set on wanting her cousin to choose being labeled "black" vs. "white," when undoubtedly both women are "biracial."

The author obviously has a racial "chip" on her shoulder.

I too, have been teased and harassed about my skin color by both children and adults, but I put it down to insensitivity and immaturity. I don't dwell on it, and I do not assume it is done with malicious intent.

I think ignorance is the true enemy of the people.

I spent my teenage years by the beach in Santa Monica, but I didn't go to the beach very often as I was teased by friends as well as strangers. They would say things like: "Why do you even bother coming? It's not like you're going to tan," or "Go away, you are blocking my sun, you can't use it," or "You are blinding me with your skin."

I am very light-skinned ( 1/2 Irish and 1/2 Scottish, to be exact). I was called "super whitey," and it hurt. The sunburn at the end of the day didn't hurt as bad as the cruel comments. Then, of course, the named changed to "lobster body."

It is up to parents to teach their children the Golden Rule: "Do unto others what you would have them do unto you." The world would be a place of daily rainbows without the storm.

Be "black," be "white," be your beautiful biracial self, but most of all, be "happy"!

- Name withheld, Woodinville

I loved the article "White Girl?" It was well-written, thought-provoking and honest. As I read it, I found myself wishing it were a novel that ran for several hundred pages, rather than a newspaper article. Race is such a complicated issue in today's world. Thank you for printing it.

- Natalie Hamrick, Seattle

As the grandmother of a 1-year-old mixed-race boy, I try to read anything and everything I can to help me understand his "worlds." I sincerely hope you'll keep the conversation going. Thank you!

- Name withheld, Seattle

I am a white woman married to a black man. We have three "mixed" children.

I hate that term "mixed." Doesn't that sound as if there's something wrong with a person, as if they are "mixed" up? I refer to my children as "bicultural." Their genealogy stems from different cultures, not different races.

They are beautiful.

I try to heighten my awareness of other opinions regarding race and intercultural relationships. Not because I want to obsess over it, but for my children's sake.

This may sound naive to some, but I want my children to have the best of both worlds. I don't want the fact that I am white and their father is black to be an issue. My prayer is that they will grow up to be well-rounded, well-adjusted young adults who are proud of who they are - not based solely on their heritage, but mostly on their strong family, the way they have been raised with a strong foundation in God, their successes, and the way they have learned from their failures and used them to better their future.

I want them to be aware of what others may think, that their being bicultural may be an issue for someone else, but I hope that their being will not be encompassed in that.

- Brenda Felder, Seattle

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