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Monday, March 4, 2013 - Page updated at 05:00 p.m.

Sideline Chatter
They deserved at least a point for this escape

By Dwight Perry
The Seattle Times

Talk about a lose-win situation.

Kasson-Mantorville (Minn.) High School coaches didn't want their wrestlers distracted during the state 2A tournament, so they confiscated all their grapplers' cellphones.

Bad call, coach: 14 of them got trapped for an hour in a hotel elevator — with no way to call for help — before finally making their escape just in time for the team final.

Good call, coach: The freed-up KoMets hit the mats and won their first state title, anyway.

Here's the catch

Police in the border city of Mexicali confiscated a powerful cannon used to hurl marijuana parcels over the fence into California.

Reaction ranged from cheers at Border Patrol headquarters to moans of "I knew I should've become a wide receiver" from ex-running back Ricky Williams.


• At "University of Alabama spends $9 million on a new state-of-the-art: a) research facility, b) lecture hall, or c) weight room for the football team."

• Ominously, atop the Minneapolis Star Tribune's state 2A wrestling preview story: "Kasson-Mantorville locked in."

Getting some ink

Rangers shortstop Elvis Andrus had to sit out a spring-training game because of lingering soreness from some body art he had done, but you won't hear the batting coach complaining.

Seems Elvis has been tattooing the baseball ever since.

Sports quiz

Ex-Lakers Hall of Famer Magic Johnson says he'll pay LeBron James $1 million if the reluctant Heat star:

a) wins the NBA All-Star Slam Dunk Contest.

b) produces a Kenyan birth certificate.

Te'o Wind Dept.

Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o, who ran a disappointing 4.82-second 40-yard dash at the NFL Scouting Combine, says he ran it in 4.6 seconds while training for it.

Of course, his girlfriend's irate father was chasing him at the time.

Quote marks

• Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on Alabama offering a football scholarship to an eighth-grader: "How long until a 'Bama booster tries to entice the kid with a new skateboard, a 'Call of Duty' video game and front-row seats to the Demi Lovato concert?"

• Ian Hamilton of the Regina (Sask.) Leader-Post, on cardinals gathering in Rome to select a new pope: "Here's hoping they have better luck picking a leader than Arizona's Cardinals, who can't seem to find a good quarterback."

• Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, on quinquagenarian Michael Jordan's concession to advancing age: "He trash-talks his opponents in shuffleboard."

• Reggie Hayes of the Fort Wayne (Ind.) News-Sentinel, on the flip side of Danica Patrick's history-making finish at the Daytona 500: "Jimmie Johnson tied the record for best finish by a man."

Crunch time

Ichiro escaped uninjured when another driver rammed into his SUV after a spring-training game in Tampa, Fla., but the Yankee outfielder's vehicle was totaled.

Or as it's known in baseball circles, getting hit for the recycle.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or

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